HAPPINESS

Happiness is a choice not a given.

Some have subconsciously decided to NOT be happy. No matter the emotional, mental or physical circumstances or situation, they look for what is missing or what is wrong. These individuals are never really enjoying and being grateful or fulfilled by what is actually there, because they are consumed with what is always missing. Even in moments or situations when these individuals “claim” they are happy, the joy tends to be that of resignation. (I accept this even though it is not what I really want.) This rolling state of seemingly never choosing happiness leads to an overall sense of hopelessness, a sense that you never get what you really want, that situations are pointless even before you engage them.

In extreme cases this behavior can escalate into a form of continuous self- sabotage with key characteristics of Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder as described by the DSM-IV directed inwards. The resistance is directed towards ones own direction and goals. They begin very sure “This is what I want”, then, with the same certainty, it quickly becomes “This definitely is NOT what I want”.  “I can do this” is soon replaced by “I just can’t do this”. “This is the right plan or direction for me” soon becomes “this is all wrong and definitely NOT right for me”. This continuous balance of push/pull ends in a kind of emotional, mental and, eventually, physical paralysis. This continuous cycle leads to an overall sense of immobility and immobilization.

These individuals spend most of their time planning, with almost no manifestation of their goals or plans. This is because each plan is abandoned and quickly replaced by another, then another, then another etc., which gives the illusion of progress or movement, or that they are in control and directing their lives/goals/dream etc. But, all the while they are in a cyclical pattern of self-sabotage designed to land right back where they started with goals/dreams unmanifested.

Life is so arranged that we do not most of the time get precisely what we want or dream exactly as we dreamed it. But within what does come are elements from which we can create a bounty of happiness, joy and peace overflowing. Choosing to be truly happy in each circumstance does not mean you are compromising or settling for less.

It means in each and every situation you are SETTLING for happiness, joy and above all else true Gratitude.

Really choosing happiness is not arbitrarily saying “I choose to be happy”. It means I truly let go of or put down what I hold in the place of happiness, in order to hold or really possess happiness.

Are you choosing happiness?

Is it true happiness, or is it projected happiness so everyone will see how “together” you are?

Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals and relationships.

Are you self –sabotaging?

If you are self-sabotaging, the article below by Dr. Leon F. Seltzer may shed more light on your internal situation and offer guidance for getting assistance.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201102/self-sabotage-passive-aggression-toward-the-self-pt-55

Remember...