Dear Adult Child,

When confronting age 5 syndrome, we must first understand that most parents never make the transition from being the “parent of a child” to the “parent of an adult”. Therefore, it is you who must redefine your relationship with your parents. It is you who must take up the arduous task of creating boundaries where they never existed. This path is covered in “myths of relationships”. Lets discuss a couple you might stumble upon on this path.

1. Respect: “I must respect my parents and comply with all of their wishes; this is my show of respect.”

   Remember that respect is earned and reciprocal. He who demands respect must also give respect. If you conduct yourself like a 5 year old child, your parent will treat you as such. Therefore, you must respect yourself enough to conduct yourself as an adult to require being treated as an adult. Respect their suggestions and comments but treasure your own choices.

2. “If I don’t do what my parents want they won’t love me.”

   Remember that love begins with you. You must love yourself enough to be responsible for your choices. Not everyone (including your parents) will like every choice you make. When your choices are made from a place of honestly standing in your own power to create the life experience you want, they might not like your choices, but they will have to respect them. If they care enough to be upset, then you know they love you. Remember: children are loaned to parents only for a season to protect and to offer a gift, the benefits of their experience. As with all gifts, it is the child’s choice whether to accept or reject this gift. As in a relay race, your parents have handed you the baton, and it is up to you now how you will run the race of your life.

Your life belongs to you and only you and the choices you make are yours and yours alone. The key to transforming your “parent child” relationship into a “parent adult” relationship begins with you and your choices.